The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
