I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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