I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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