All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
