Me. At least after what I've been through.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize