um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
