It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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