My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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