I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
