Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
