im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize