I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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