he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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