Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
