I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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