apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
