gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's Friday. Sex?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
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