I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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