YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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