Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
