just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
