Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
