The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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