i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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