Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
