I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
