yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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