Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
