Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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