Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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