And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
