i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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