my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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