Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
