Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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