He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
