Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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