i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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