I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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