party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
