i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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