All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
