idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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