i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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