sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
