Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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