I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
