what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
