That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
third nipple confirmed
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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