So drunk its hurt
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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