EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize