mondays should just be called national damage control day
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
