I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
