what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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