so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
