I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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