Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
