Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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