I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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