you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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