I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
