I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
