He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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