This girl is more easily done than said...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
