How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
